Dil Kya Kare, Condom Me Maza Nahi Aata

I'm confused. I thought she was calling me "Vyera" but perhaps I misheard. "It's time you began to learn something of your new language. We will start...with your name. Your full name is Vyera Anatolyevna Kuznetsova. Do you understand?" She looks at me getting no response but not appearing worried by it. "There is a problem though. Vyera is an adult name and you are a slave, so we need something else." None of this makes any sense but perhaps it is the least absurd feature of my life here. "We. .. works anything like she usually does, I'll have to fumble my way through to the point where she says, "There's a good boy ... see ... you need me." The rest of her comment will be to force me to read it, then she'll say, all the whilst shaking her head in extreme pity, "Sucks to be you, David ... that's positively awful." I have no doubt it is.So, I have a computer, Nx 9637, who has all the attributes of HAL from 2001 ... except, my HAL is sarcastic, clever and funny ... in a severely warped. More

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