I saw mum coming down stairs, she looked at me and held her hands up in a gesture of defeat,"What can I say Terry?" How about, hello?" Don't you want ...n apology?" What for mum, you had the shittiest marriage in the whole universe, you thought that you and I could never hack it together, you fell for Sarah for the same reasons she fell for you, you were both in a relationship that you thought couldn't go any further, well I got news for you mum, both of us can go just as far as we want, come. The nurse who showed me in was not the sort of woman to get a guy’s juices flowing. I’m not being ungallant but I’m sure even she would agree that she was plain, overweight and generally unattractive. She explained the process to me (like I had never wanked before) gave me a wide lipped container, and said I should ring the bell by side of the chair when I was ready for her to collect my specimen. The thought of this fat bird rushing my hot spunk through the corridors to the laboratory was. More

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