-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve mon...hs of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day. My bestfriends always told me she liked me too but I wasn't going to get her if I never told her. So I told myself I'd tell her at the party, alone obviously, no one else needed to know about this. Besides, they wouldn't miss us very much, I was very quiet and so was she. The day of the party came and I got a ride from my dad, he told me to be careful and don't do anything you might regret later, I carried that thought all day.....I was the 3rd person there, of course Victoria was first, being. More

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