W “oh him ,mmm, wonder if he will show it today “ H “yes dear expect you will see his cock again ! I’ll get the binoculars for you ,so you can...watch the twat” W “you know I only use them for birdwatching dear ,hmm hmmm , but pass them anyway that kestrel could be back again”.H “ yes dear sure , the twat is showing it “W “quick pass them to me , oh yes , and its hard , not seen that sort of thing for years “H “no dear , should be a law against wanking in your garden ,twat”W “ mmm, just squirted. We found a huge deposit of gas in the fifties, you see. That’s why the sight of this bottle unnerved me. Who’d have a bomb under their kitchen window? What went on in that bottle when it reached forty-five degrees outside?The boiler was set to ninety degrees Celsius, for some unfathomable reason. That would explain the intervals of scalding hot water, followed by relatively cold periods of about forty seconds. That was probably the safety kicking in, while the mixer tap tried to create a steady. More

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