You went through three Facebook identities and two phones and four Instagram accounts before you shook her off your shin. You enrolled on the easiest ...ourse you could get into. You borrowed some stranger’s designs off Deviant Art. You’re a spy. You’re a James Bond with a backpack full of underwear, pursuing sad women. You must be compensated for keeping these women company. The girls crush pepper into your drink. They lift your gums up, tap your teeth. They squirt soy sauce in a glass of wine. There’s not much to relate now except we did stumble across his car after only driving round for half an hour or so – a task I would’ve said was totally impossible with all the cars parked up and the sheer amount of streets there were in the place. On the way home, the girls wanted to pull in at a Tesco store for a DVD or something. I told them I’d stay in the car as I didn’t want to get arrested. About 20 minute later I could hear this loud laughing as I sat there with my knees wide open,. More

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