But the second is necessary; and the first, whatever he'd thought 30 years ago, is not.They lie apart on the sheet in pajama bottom and opaque nightgo...n. Too hot for these, as well, but the kids and grandkids are here. After an eternity he sleeps.The lightning rouses him. It was close, but there is no afterglow to suggest fire. He lies there appreciating the breeze for a moment until the rain drums in. He is reaching to lower the first window when he really wakes up. This is the sleeping porch.. I stand in front of my mirror, naked, twisting, turning, and admiring how shestill fits. I imagine I can see the old cuts, the old scars fresh and new. Thesoft scabs that washed away in the bathtub, leaving soft pink and white fleshunderneath. I miss that. I haven't cut myself in 6 months. The last time wasNovember 12th. The last time I made love to myself. Riding the bus,always the bus. Riding with old people, and punks, and ordinary people movingthrough their miserable pathetic lives. They're. More

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