..... Smiled! "Mike," he said, "this is the best damned chili I've ever eaten!" "Me, too," LuAnn stated. "Thank you," I answered. "I'm glad you like ...t." "I don't 'like' it, Mike. I love it!" LuAnn told me. "I've eaten a lot of chili but nothing compares to this meal. What's in it?" "Well, I don't usually tell this to everyone who asks," I laughed, "But I have a 'secret' ingredient that I use. And I don't know of too many others who use it in theirs, so I guess that's what sets mine apart. I know if I sit or kneel on the floor my dress would not be presentable. Why in the world do I allow my wife to tell me I can’t sit in my own chair? I feel the intense burning in my testicles and I’m quickly reminded why. As my penis tries to grow in its tiny acrylic prison it pulls the ring behind my testicles in a cruel tug of war. I reach down and try to comfort the intense pain to no avail; I need a key to do that. I think of the key wrapped around my wife’s ankle. I remember my wife’s. More

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