Over time, I developed a sexual attraction to Sean. I’d notice Sean’s nipples stiffening in the cold A/C office and couldn’t help staring. I’d...secretly savor hand shakes and physical contact more because of how “odd” it felt. I did let Sean know I thought he was “interesting”. We were very friendly with each other. We grew close. Sean knew I wasn’t gay, but also knew that I had some fascination with him. I paid very close attention to and studied Sean who eventually started to adopt “feminine”. I touched everywhere and Iwas often drawn to my mirror. Only in my apartment though, alone.Never at work or in public or somewhere, somehow in some obscene way.Even then, alone, I was reading magazines, watching TV. I kept up onthe daily reports and stay focused on the things I needed to getdone. But, still, sometimes, little moments would hit me. Like,watching TV, I'd realize what it meant, sitting there, doing my nailsbefore the next morning's meeting. Or frying a hamburger, I'd lookdown. More

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