It drifts in and before it has a chance to form it disappears, elusively slipping between my fingers. I never seem to be able grasp it. It slides away... farther and farther, each time I try to reach for it. And then I wake up only to find I’m still trapped in this nightmare, a nightmare of a life with no joy, no happiness, no love, nothing but sadness for me. Each day I wake up. Each day I wonder. I wonder what it would have been like. To just have, the briefest of moments to be with you. To be. It was cold in here, and I could see Mary’s nipples pressing against her shirt. She set her coffee down on a crate and went into the bedroom, and came back out wearing a dark blue sweater. Mary sat down next to me. She pulled her legs up under her and sipped her coffee. I wanted to say something about the night before, but I didn’t know what. I finished my coffee and put my mug in the kitchen. I went back into the living room and sat down on the couch. ‘I’m ready to leave anytime you are.’ I. More

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