The throb came again, not a headache as I had thought on waking, but a real sound, muffled as if coming from a great distance. I waited, heart poundin..., but it did not return.What now? I wondered. Guidance from the Disciples of Baphomet had been sparse, cryptic, and right at that moment, completely useless:“Allow the Child and Their infant siblings to feed first.” “If you sense hatred, run!”There had been no, “Go straight, take the third left, and follow the yellow brick road.” I looked one. Now! Feel yourself sliding over and underit. You are feeling pleasure, now know what it is like to give pleasure, too. Concentrate on caressing the penis with your vagina.Grip it firmly in you. Give it pleasure."It was a subtle shift, but made such a difference. I was the pleasure-giver, I was the lover. I was in charge. I understood what it means togive oneself to a lover.Mommy read my thoughts. "It is only when you give yourself completelythat you can receive completely. That is the moment of. More

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