He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!''Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye ...allin' from?'An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?''Just water, ' says the priest.The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'The priest. With the game on the line I had to keep my mouth shut otherwise Lisa would have a fit. She was afraid I might jinx it and she was sitting still on the couch practically holding her breath. I blame her f****y. They were all die hard Cub fans from her grandfather, to her father, and her little b*****r. It was bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the inning and the batter was down to two strikes. The pitch came and the batter swung it sending the ball straight out of the ballpark. All of. More

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