Maybe the Vietnamese tomorrow night.’ ‘Sounds like a good plan. Lets do it.’ ‘Here?’ I asked incredulously. I got my ass slapped, which was ...he proper response for a smart-ass comment. As we approached the Hardrock she remembered my glasses and unbuttoned two buttons of her shirt and said, ‘You will need your glasses. As you get them make sure you squeeze a tit on your way in and again on the way out.’ I made sure of that. She did not button up her blouse so I could see most of a tit as we ate. Nor is it because I am so agoraphobic that I cannot cross the threshold into the Huge Outdoors without sacrificing three goats, turning round 16 times and promising my teddy that I won’t step on any cracks in the pavement (and there may be one or two of you who would have quite liked that too).. No, it’s because I don’t really have many places to go, or people to go with. My wanderings, other than practising my hobby (which is not exercising my vaginal muscles around the expanses of enormous. More

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