Whenever Ryan was around, I was in a constant state of anxiety that he might find out about my little secret crush on him. This caused me to act so da...ned awkwardly around him. My face was on fire. My eyes scanned the whole room, desperate for something else to think of, something to make the moment pass by. “Stupid kid,” I thought, “there's no way he doesn't know.” And then again something deep inside me wanted him to see me as a young woman, willing to give him all he wants. No!! Turn it. That doesn't mean I liked it, but gradually I was able to forget whatI was wearing, unless I caught sight of myself in a mirror.How did the party go? Depends whom you ask. I thought it was a flop;Diana thought it was a great success. I was the only guy there whowas dressed as a girl, and I didn't fool anybody. I felt silly, too,just as I had known I would. A week of wearing that getup had gottenme used to it, but not reconciled to it. You see, I had learned tolike being Diana's girl in. More

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