"Occupation?"No, just here for a few days."As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams..."I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"The Vicar smiles, leans forward, sucking air through his teeth and mutters,"Too late, mate, the paperwork's already done."I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit. . for insurance...”“If you want anything from me, you’ll have to let her go.” Valencia explained patiently, like she was talking to a half-wit. He replied equally, his tone doubly insulting.“If you don’t do what we ask we’ll kill her, darling,” he replied.So. That was it. That was the situation, she thought. “What do you want of me?” she asked.“Just one teeny tiny little task. You must go to a special place and push a special button for me. And maybe kill a chicken.”Kill a chicken? What the. More

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