. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer ... Well, Mister, I told her!”A man tells his friend, “I went to my doctor ...o see if he could help me give up smoking.”“What did he say?”“He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate.”“Did that do any good?”“No I can’t get the chocolate to light.”A customer at Green’s Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.“Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?”“I. A man of annoying ritual, he had sat at table thirty-three for the five years I had partnered him. I sat opposite and he nodded, nervously checking out the three mid-afternoon diners. The waitress threw menus on the table and waited, chewing her gum like a cow ruminates cud.“Black coffee, eggs easy over, hash browns and two blueberry waffles?” I looked at Stalker, waiting on his reply.“You remembered!” Each day for five years he had eaten O’Malley’s artery choking shit. It wasn’t rocket science. More

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