I told her that i had fantasised about shagging Madonna.She said'Well i am afraid that i don't think that is ever going to happen.Although she does se...m to keep getting younger and younger boyfriends.There again if young men are attracted to her then you are not really going to turn them down,are you.I know i wouldn't.Not that young men show any interest in me'.I told her that i didn't believe that.I would definitely be interested'.When i told her this she said to me'Well maybe i can help you. If you’d watched the weather last night instead of arsing around on Twitter, you’d know.”“I was not arsing around.” I said, flicking my wet hair out of my eyes. “I was doing something important.”“Yeah, like tweeting Rita Ora. You are such a celebrity whore, you know. Just because she replied to that tweet of yours about liking broccoli, you think she’s your best friend forever.”“Look, can’t we find somewhere to shelter,” I grumbled, trying to change the subject. “Or at least let me squeeze up. More

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