I... I don't know what to do. Keith... isthis all as crazy as I think it is? I don't know what I want. I want allof this, but I still want to be a boy... Does that make any sense? I...I... have spent the last week trying to figure out who I am and what Iam and I still don't know. I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I just leavewell enough alone and just stayed a boy? I never would have even thoughtabout ever doing any of this if mom hadn't... no. This was all my doing.Mommy just wanted some help. God!. She moved with difficulty, and I had to grip the door frame to support me while I watched her with a painfully throbbing heart. She made her way towards me with small, insecure steps, guided by the officer’s strong hands. Then they were right in front of me. My heart broke when I saw how badly she was shaking. She wouldn’t even look at me. “Kirsty.” All the anguish and sorrow condensed in a single word. I tentatively reached out and stroked her good cheek. “Come in, let’s get you up into my. More

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