"We got back to Judy's apartment and I started eagerly waiting for thephone to ring. At 4pm, it rang, and it was Doctor Adams, she said,"come by, and...I will tell you what your choices are for proceeding. Iwill wait for you."I said, "I will be right over."I said, "Judy, we need to go back to Doctor Adams, she said, 'I havechoices to make; whatever that means."We arrived at Doctor Adams and went in to see her and find out whatchoices I had. Doctor Adams was waiting for us, and she said, "this. Ugh.Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM relationships, and it resonated somewhere deep inside of me. I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that inequality was so alien to how I was raised that I felt tremendous guilt about it and never told a soul about my desires. The guilt, however great, never stopped me from fantasizing. If I was going to turn over a new leaf, and try to be open and truly honest with my. More

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