He wasn’t unkind, and he wouldn’t have been cruel, but he was shy; and he wasn’t a good catch for a girl on the cusp of sexual womanhood. She al...owed his advances and wooing within strict limits, deliberately extending the period into infinity, the period between an apparent attraction and an accepted engagement.Mark Johnson became her escape from this deadly life. She knew she was lucky. She did not have to rise at 5am to black the range or wash the sheets in cold water in winter, or sleep in. "All true. Nonetheless, I realized that this is perhaps the most majorall-or-nothing decision I've ever made in my life, and suddenly, I foundmyself questioning literally every decision I've made about my genderjourney. Even to the point of questioning whether they were in factdecisions at all, or whether I'd simply allowed myself to be carriedalong by some kind of thoughtless momentum, one step leading inevitablyto the next, and to the next, without stopping to consider their validityor. More

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