“Destroyed. Obliterated. I’m nothing. You’ve rendered me nonexistent. No,” she contradicted herself amidst her increasingly uncontrollable wee...ing, “I’ve ruined myself. I’m dirty. Unclean. I will never be fully human again.”She paused, her weeping coming with a horribly rhythmic rise and fall that mimicked the cycle of her orgasms, its notes a symphony of despair rather than ecstasy.“I am trampled beneath the filthy tread of the lowest wretches, though the scorn they feel for me would be far. Masturbation wasn't a topic ever discussed in her family. She was not a very religious person. Sexuality was a foreign concept to her - but one she yearned to understand. Orgasm? Probably not. She was pretty sure she was heterosexual. And, at the moment, she was struggling with the idea of being sexually active, period. Others seemed to embrace it with ease. She agreed she might never know unless she broke out of her comfort zone. She was intensely embarrassed discussing these topics in front. More

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