I was so stupid. Somehow, I wanted to hurt you and make you pay for Justin’s death. That’s the reason I wouldn’t go for counseling. I know it wa... childish but I wanted to hurt you so much. My mom and dad came up and have been staying with me for the last two weeks. It’s good that they’re retired and have been able to devote so much time to me. They wouldn’t let me have time for self-pity and gradually I began to understand what my grief for Justin was doing to you, me and our marriage. They. ‘Robert?’‘Yes.’‘I’ve had a thought. Would you pretend to be Grandad?’I suddenly lose interest in the fireworks. ‘Wow, great idea.’You pull away from me and start to dance up and down with excitement. ‘Cool. Can I wear my school uniform? He never took his eyes of me when I was in uniform. I think it was his favourite.’ You giggle. ‘And you must change into your pjs.’‘OK, but why? Grandad always wore a suit.’‘Not always.’ You blush. ‘I wasn’t being completely honest with you. Once, something. More

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