Oh my God, I’d done it, I’d invited him to my home. What was I thinking! What do I wear? What do I say? Will he like me? Will I like him? No going...back! Then I hear the yard gate and know its too late — he’s arrived! Using all my inner strength I open the door and plaster on a smile. Phew it’s ok, he is still the lovely sweet man who had been chatting to me on the phone trying to figure out my needs and wants. I make coffee and we talked for an hour, how I regretted that hour now. Next time. But funny had died a few hours ago and I didn't think I'd find anything funny again for a long time, if ever. The house phone rang, and the cell phone and then the house phone. I just finished the second Michelob and started on the third.Time crawled by and like the traitor it was, refused to run backwards so that the day that destroyed my life would unwind and give me a second chance. But even as I expressed that common human wish, I knew inside that what had happened had been coming for. More

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