There was a picture next to Mother’s bed of her pushing me in a swing at the neighborhood park. I didn’t remember that. It looked like we were hav...ng fun. If I had it to do over again, maybe I’d wait until Dad died and then try to make contact with the woman she’d become.I snorted at my stupidity. I was doing it over. And not much better this time than the first time.I set about packing things in boxes from the liquor store and stacking them on the front porch for pick up by the big green. He put it back in his pocket as soon as he saw me, accepted the beer, popped it open and took a long draught. The sight of his tall dark body and handsome face took my breath away but also shook any confidence I had gathered while in the toilet. A wave of emotion surged through me. I simply didn’t know what to say; what can a girl say to the boy who has just given her the first real sexual experience of her life? I metaphorically slapped my own face and tried to listen to my brain rather than. More

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