" And who did you think I had in mind as the replacement?" Now who's presumptuous?" I asked smugly, still struggling to remove the arrow from my back....You've been a bear these past few weeks. Can't you stop hurting yourself this way? You're hurting other people around you. You . . . you sometimes hurt me." A long pause fluffed the air. "Desperado," she sighed, almost singing it.It felt good. It's what I needed, to be punished by a good smack across my self-esteem. Something felt justified for. . I mean if he was gay, we could be boyfriends one day. I could easily have fallen in love with him, hell, I thought I was already! I even tried to formulate my coming out speech to my parents. No, not quite yet because it occurred to me that any hope of sleepovers would be thwarted the same as if I wanted a girlfriend to sleep in my bed! I shook my head of the over presumptuous thoughts and laughed at my foolishness.Laying on backs and staring at the ceiling that daybreak had snuck up and cast. More

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