I thought we were all committed to each other, but Jules and John had a much more casual view of things. I overreacted, but in the process discovered ...hat I was willing to beg for Lydia to hurt me as a way of masking my own internal torments."What would you like to know? I'll tell you anything you want if you think it would help."He turned to look at me. "I'm afraid to ask what happened." It's scary for me, too."He took a deep breath. "So tell me." I was hurting inside. I felt foolish for. After all, none of us were exclusive. I would forgive them, and give them my blessing. I’m certainly not going to go run off and tell them this right away. I decide when I see them again, I will make it clear there are no hard feelings. I feel satisfied with my desire to keep things mature, and suddenly...I also feel very sad. An odd pitch of loneliness strikes inside my body, turning my stomach to mush, and I slouch into the chair. A second later, a low tap on my door makes me nearly jump out. More

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