I measured potential boyfriends against a list in my head that I never transcribed into my journal, which should have been my first clue it was nonsen...e. I wanted someone taller than me, older than me, physically adept, muscularly solid over skinny, and whom I could connect to with games, movies, or conversations. Basically, I described my brother Edmund and his teammates. I was never attracted to my brother, although his teammates I certainly had fantasized about. However, those dreams were. He thought that if they could find the right space and time and put all this crap behind them it would be a different world. Who knows if they could ever do that? Only time will tell he thought. Given more time maybe they’ll reach the point that they’ll be able to find each other and become friends again, he misses her, especially with all the things going on in his life and knowing that this should have been their time to share it. For now he would like to believe that they still have some. More

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