”“What cucumber?” Jessica asked.“Please don’t insult my intelligence,” the manager said, rewinding the video to before we went into the re...troom, “you clearly had a cucumber in your hand when you went into the restroom.”“We left it in the restroom, didn’t we, honey?” I asked Jessica, looking over at her and giving her a look, “You must have overlooked it. I’d be happy to pay for the merchandise. We just forgot. No big deal.”Jessica nodded in agreement.“No, I didn’t overlook it, the cucumber is. Pissing off the Almighty was not the way to go. Ah fuck it! I'd read Dante's Inferno and the Niven and Pournelle update of it. Even though my memories of the details of Hell's geography were a bit hazy, I knew the topography. If I ended up in Hell I was pretty sure I could navigate my way out of it. I'd have all eternity anyway. A memory of the final cantos filtered through to my consciousness and I laughed silently. 'When Hell freezes over', is a common expression, but according to Dante the. More

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