Are you sure that you are really Jason? If you're some sleaze trying to get into our family, I'll make you so sorry that you ever thought of trying so...ething like that." DJ, I am your brother and I can prove it. When we were kids and we had that secret fort out in the woods, we always had fun standing on that tree fort and pissing on that old apple tree. I never could piss as far as you and it always upset me that I could never measure up to you or be a real friend to you. Everyone was always. There are always family gatherings that you have to attend, be they weddings, funerals, birthday parties or anniversary parties. It was at one of these command performances that I finally got pissed off enough at Matt and Jackie to consider doing something to them. It was my wife's parents thirty-fifth wedding anniversary party and about two hours into it Jackie made some comment about the sad state of my in-laws furniture. It was a tacky comment to begin with, but what really pissed me off was. More

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