But I just couldn't open myself up to you, day to day. I would die for you, but I couldn't live for you. I realize how stupid that sounds now, but I c...uldn't stop. Even now, I'm putting this down for you to read after I'm dead, instead of calling you or hopping on a plane to come see you and telling you personally. You deserved better than me. The girls deserved a better Mom than me." I wish I could change, sweetheart. I want to be the woman you always wanted as your wife. I have gone down this. Please read Parts 1 - 4 to understand where I am in my sexual development. My boyfriend soon recovered from his tonsillitis. It was easily apparent to him that his brother and I were more ‘familiar’ than before he was sick. His brother just grabbed me one day when he came in and rubbed his hands over my breasts and scooped them under my arse and rubbed me between the legs, then left. “Has he done that often”? I was asked. “Yeah, a bit” I replied. “Anything else”? he asked. “Yeah, I let. More

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