.. I'm left to wonder."Crystal sobbed for a minute, "I know. I know. I felt terrible about not talking to you, but I had to do it myself. I couldn't e...en articulate what I felt. I'd just wake up depressed, put on a brave face, and try to act 'as if' everything was all right when it wasn't. I knew it wasn't, but didn't know what to say. I think the drugs and sex made me temporarily forget the bad feelings welling up inside me. I found out late that they really contributed to my depression and. Several brown pelicans were gracefully riding the waves. Small shore-birds were scurrying around; chasing whatever it is that they chase. I saw a row of dunes along the beach with signs warning people to "Stay Off".The sky above was a brilliant blue. A few fluffy clouds could be spotted in the distance. Several girls walked by wearing tiny bikinis. I watched from the safety of my sunglasses as they passed in front of me. I had to marvel at their youth and beauty. I loved the little sway each. More

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