Thatwas new. I didn't usually paint my nails, and they had just been plainthis morning. What the fuck? I looked further up. My legs had beenshaved, an... I was wearing a short denim skirt and tiny tank top thatshowed off my flat belly. I didn't own any of these clothes, where hadthey come from?I could feel I had a wedgie, and I reached down to fix it, then turned adeep shade of red as I realised I was wearing a thong. Whoever hadcontrolled me had taken me out shopping, it seemed, and they had. Jones, but your HMO does not pay for enemas. I’m going to have to slap the shit out of you.One old lady to another: I went to my HMO Dr. today.Other lady:I think our doctor is an HMO, but Frank thinks he’s straight.The seven dwarves of menopause: bitchy, itchy, sweaty, sleepy, bloated, forgetful and psycho.Why we love children!!A kindergarten told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.“How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked.Because I just pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,. More

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