Yes, Ihad been wearing my mother's clothes, but I wasn't ready to admit tomyself or anyone else that I really wanted to be a woman. Sure, Ithought ab...ut it. As a matter of fact, I thought about it constantly,but I always wrote it off as some weird fantasy. Fantasies aren'tsupposed to come true. That's what makes them different than goals andaspirations. I certainly didn't aspire to be a woman. I was happybeing a boy. I had a good life as a boy and I certainly wasn't gay.No, I wasn't gay.. I wanted to spend some time with Grandfather and to stay busy. I didn't want dwell on Mary. I had to get a doctor, probably a psychiatrist, to continue on the Mellaril. I needed it to sleep, but I also wanted to work my way off the medication too.I went to the apartment and changed out of my uniform for what I hoped was the last time. I had expected to be in the Army at least four more months and had thought I might have to do the remainder of the two year enlistment. I had been very concerned. More

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