I do know I had no one to talk to about what was going on in my head. Was I gay because I was bared and spanked by a man, and I was masturbating think...ng of it? Was I mentally defective because that terrifying and painful experience was causing sexual arousal? Every time I humped the bed I would vow to get Mr. Walker to spank me again. After each climax I would ask myself if I were nuts to consider such a thing. I didn't talk to Mike (my best friend) for a couple days after. I figure now it was. We were warned again that too much stress could cause serious damage to the baby, and the possibility of a miscarriage or a still birth. I was put on more medicines and told again to remain on limited bed rest. I hated it, but I was willing to do anything to have a healthy baby. That very night after we got home, Mario told me that the house was a mess and I should get to work on cleaning. No breaks until I was finished. At first I started to laugh, but when my smile first cracked, I felt the. More

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