" Applied to them? In what way?"Holmes took a deep draw on his pipe and withdrew the vials from his pocket. He placed them on the Reverend's desk, wel... within his reach, but far beyond the pastors. "Plant extracts of the most dangerous kind. These innocuous liquids are potent mind altering substances. Swallowed, inhaled or adsorbed through the skin they will cause hallucination in the sanest of men." The bowl of Holmes's churchwarden glowed savagely, "Hallucination and desire is produced by one. I loved it. Chapter 3 My sexual practices began to broaden. I explored the darker realms. My lingerie went from pieces decorated in flowers and teddy bears to vinyl skirts and fishnets. I bought sex toys that mixed pain with pleasure. My willingness to violate myself overrode my desire to make God happy to the point that I was willing to put myself through the pain of autofellatio. I wanted to let religious life go. I thought I could just move on and accept myself the way I was. But I found. More

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