And yet. She thumped her pillow in exasperation.'Stop it, ' she thought. 'Stop it and think of how much you love him and how much he loves you. I know... I know but I can't, I can't."That was too much for her and she started to cry. She stifled her sobs in her pillow but they were painful, gut-wrenching sobs. Finally she fell asleep but not for long: just three hours. She had dreamed again in the last few moments of a man pinioning her against a wall, his hand over her mouth almost suffocating. I hugged James, putting my head on his shoulder. James’ arms around me felt like heaven. I felt so safe, so sheltered and cared for. Suddenly all I wanted to do was get home and get our clothes off, to be skin to skin, to be joined. I communicated this general idea to James with a whisper, an ardent kiss and a well-placed squeeze, he enthusiastically agreed. We abandoned our half full glasses and hurried to the car, giggling together, arms around each other. James’ apartment was closest so we. More

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