The answer was that it wasn't abeginning of something just a final phase. She was doing everything tosurvive radiation and chemotherapy inclusive but ...n vain. The fate's wordis always the last one. Mother died on December 24th. Mother's death wasan abrupt termination of all my expectations to convince her I was reallya girl in male body. My yearning to femininity had no chances anymore. Myfate was to live with my father, a man, an officer. I was expecting himto start his attack on me every. Jeans pehne hone k kaaran mujhe kam lag rahi thi,par maza bahut aa raha tha..iss process k dauraan mujhe ye realize hua k agar main har baar galti karu to aise he maza aayega..aunty bahut pareshaan ho gayi thi,or ek din unhone mujh se puch he liya,woh boli “raj,jab main tumhe piche chaata maarti hu,to tumhe maza aata hain kya”?Maine unki taraf dekha or kaha “agar main aapko sach batau to aap gussa to nahi karogi”punjabi aunty smile karte hue boil “nahi raj,tum mere favorite student ho,isliye to. More

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