I jumped up as if someone had hit me with a cattle prod, dick still in hand and "naked as a Jay Bird.' What the F....? Liz let out a loud laugh and ...laced a hand on her hip, wooooweee, is that thing loaded or are you just happy to see me?" Liz looked past me to the television, I see why you're so wound up Ted, don't let me interrupt what you're doing. The smile on her face got bigger and she stared at my penis, Damn, do you know how long it's been since I've seen or handled one of those. .hold on..." I leave the room quickly and run into the kitchen. "Kim! Kim! Have you been talking to our son about sex?" "No, of course not, honey. We decided that you should, remember?" she answered. "Of course. Um, does the missionary position provide good clitoral stimulation?" I ask. "What? Will you get back in there and talk to your eleven-year-old and stop worrying about our sex life." "Um, of course, baby." I walk back into Mike's room cautiously. Sort of like a lion tamer entering a. More

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