Anyway I ignored all the signs being overly sensitive for a boy It should of clicked when I was diagnosed with disphoria. I knew I liked being girly...but I really thought all teen age boys were like me. Always being a pretty-boy girls always came my way but they all end the same I get hurt because just like a girl I lack self esteem and I'm not controlling enough. Also I lack the testosterone to compete with other Men and now that older and I realized that I'm terrified of women. And. ‘You stay in hotel?’ he said to me. ‘What?’ I replied. ‘This here, hotel, you stay here in hotel? 10 dollar one hour. You pay 10 dollar one hour’ ‘You’ve got to be fucking k**ding me, no’ ‘Ok, how much you pay?’‘Nothing. This is fucked.Ah man’ I then said to no one in particular, ‘I’m really going over this. I’m in the middle of nowhere. I’m running out of cash. I don’t have any shoes. I don’t even know the name of my fucking hotel, man.I mean are you in with this guy or what?’ I then said to. More

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