My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a ...utton fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.I was such an ugly baby that my mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as. "She's pretty," Tess observed. "At least she could be if she tried." Must be hard for her, you know. I bet some of the snots are giving her a hard time. You know, living with a lesbian mother..." And looking like a Grade A nerd," Tess laughed."And that. Let's face it: Some of our peers are not exactly models of tolerance. That reminds me. Anybody give you shit?"Tess shook her head. "Nope. It's amazing. Everybody was nice. Oh, I was in the Principal's office. She'll want to talk to you, she. More

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