.. As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and ho... much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol. ‘Well my good man, let’s make some magic, shall we?’ I forced a bit of a smile as my own worst nightmare began to unfurl right in front of my eyes. He was as good as his word, all of the different players, participants in the next night’s extravaganza not knowing of the other’s parts to be played. The walk through or blocking out of the play was done with the various lighting and technical people while we all watched from in front of the stage. I saw the dark haired woman, her eyes raptly. More

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