But as much as I hate it, I just have to acknowledge it. I feel like I am assuredly nice-looking. Beautiful even. No, I am not stuck- up or self-seeki...g or self-praising. I am not. At times I do look this plain and terribly ugly in the mirrors and photos—I cringe away from giant mirrors that make me look rather irregular and foreign, and at other times, I am this lovely and adorable. I don’t get. How does beauty behave? Do we have it in one moment and then in another second it slips away just. I had not felt this loss and despair since I had lost my parents all those years ago.Lillian had become an incredibly special part of my life since my change, as had Janet, and now I might possibly lose one of them. If I were to lose both of them, I did not know if I would be able to cope. Just the thought of it left me cold and numb inside.I had not realized that I had shut everyone out until I felt Janet place her hand on my shoulder. The contact jolted me out of my self-pity and allowed me. More

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