Yet here I was at the lake house with Elizabeth doing exactly that. It was that girl she had seen through everything, that girl who loved life and sm...ling and having fun. I’m not sure how she ever saw this in me because I had forgotten what this felt like but somehow through everything she had seen this in me and I couldn’t have been happier. We watched the sunset together over the lake. It was incredibly beautiful and neither of us spoke as we watched the sun set as if it was plunging ever. That makes it difficult when I'm in my role as the stay-at-home mom in middle class white society. Sometimes I want to dress sexier or show off but it's frowned upon. While it is so great to have my outlet to fulfill my fantasies and desires, I feel somewhat constrained in what is expected of me by white society now that I have been exposed to black culture.James had mentioned to me that one of his friends is getting married in a few months. That's when I told him about a fantasy of mine, one. More

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