I knew that without that coldness, without that numbness, I was going to fall apart. If I didn't let that coolness in, I was going to fall apart, a wr...ck of a man.Not for the first time in the past 24 hours, I thought about how I'd gotten here. I thought about what had led me to this place. I considered the past, considered every decision I'd made for the past 12 years plus, and wondered if there had been any of them I could've changed that would have allowed me to come to this same place and. Once again I realised that my arms werewrapped around the doll and for some crazy reason I seemed to beclutching it tightly to me."Wake up baby girl, it's time to get up, you've slept long enough fornow."Her voice was soft but laced in a sarcastic triumph."You love your dolly don't you baby?"I tried to disentangle myself in self disgust, I felt weak, tired, myhead woolly, somehow my face felt bruised and my chest ached. I slippedmy legs over the side of the bed and sat up, the room was going. More

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