Furious that I had let myself slip and acted like - like - I dont know! Like some faggot? I swore that it would never happen again, and I hated Abel f...r what he had done to me. I felt like killing him. But guess what? Two weeks later, I was laying in my bunk with a hard on. it was a really hot, sweltering afternoon, and I began feeling crazy horny! I teased up my hair and put on my short-shorts and black dress shoes with black socks rolled down around my ankles, and a skimpy black muscle shirt. In the end, they always win. They wear you down. You can resist - *I* can resist as much as I like, but it doesn't make a scrap of difference.I just want to crawl under a rock and never emerge.***That night, I don't sleep at all. I just lie there, all night, thinking. I don't cut myself; something tells me it's got a bit beyond that now.***In the morning I pack my bag in a daze, not really concentrating on what I'm doing. Everything suddenly seems so simple; for the first time in my entire. More

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