” I smiled, and Maureen winked back so slowly I thoughtshe was having a stroke. The toilets were exactly as I expected. Freezing cold, dirty and sti...king of piss. I went into a cubicle and started to prepare my act. Through the door I could hear the hideous cackling of chav women as the audience started to arrive, and I velcro’d on my bow tie with shaking fingers. The roll of football socks (my substitute dick) were secured over my penis and balls with elastic bands, so even if one of these. He’d think of her at the worst times, standing in line at the bank, sitting in the paper gown at the doctor’s office, even during his first root canal. His visions of Catharine seemed to do more to numb the pain than the anesthesia. As months pressed past, he realized he had to cure himself and that the only cure would be Catharine herself. He started preparing what he would say when he saw her next, what witty lines could he use to get her to agree to dinner with him, that was all he wanted,. More

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