“The first thing we’re gonna do is get the Goddamned brakes fixed on our fire truck.THE IRATE CUSTOMERFor all of you out there who’ve had to dea... with an irate customer, this one is for you. It’s a classic! In tribute to those ‘special’ customers we all love! An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.A crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent. We name them marble, granite, limestone, ‘a’a lava, sandstone, quartz, basalt, slate, coal. We treasure diamonds, rubies, opals, emeralds.They are all just stones.We spend our lives ignoring them. Unless we trip over them or bang our heads on them, they are virtually invisible.But stones are the miraculous building blocks of civilization. We build palaces, cathedrals, skyscrapers, castles, and shopping malls. We carve them into sublime statues that outlive both artist and subject. We engrave. More

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