”I leant over and kissed Tina, “Morning beautiful,” then kissed Sam on the cheek, “Morning second most beautiful.”“And this,” she said t... Tina, “is why I don’t like him being behind me. If it’s not flicking my arse with a towel, it’s slapping it or kicking it.”She then turned her head to look at me, “Talking of kicking arse, did Tina say she thinks my foot came off the floor when I kicked that twat last night.”“Well dear, that’s how kicking usually works.”“No, dipshit, my back foot, the one. OH, MY GAWD, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” I get loudly in my ear from a very excited former girlfriend.I roll my eyes as I chat with Aurora, Dakota sees me try and hold a conversation with Aurora. “Where are you these days darling?” Aurora asks me.“Well, things have changed for me a bit since we dated. I’m married now and have a new house that I need your cleaning service seven days a week,” I say to her.“Married? I thought that you once told me that you were never getting married again after. More

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