’ The best defence is an attack or some such. She quickly covered her breasts with both hands. ‘Don’t mention my breasts, they’re horrible. My...nipples are as thick as my thumbs and sticking out like ripe spots on Martin’s face.’ Martin was Mum’s new boyfriend, another of her uni students, just a couple of years older than us. ‘And my tits look like those things they’re shooting from those jetplanes.’ ‘Missiles?’ I offered. ‘Yeah, tits like missiles.’ ‘Ah, com’ on,’ I said, feeling she was too. Finally without preamble, Pat announced, "We're here toreport that the library's been broken into."The lawman closed the laptop and with a condescending smile said, "Isthat right? When exactly did this dastardly deed take place?" Last night, I found the doors unlocked this morning." Are you sure you didn't just forget to lock up last night?" LookingMary over from head to toe and back up to her chest, he said, "A womanwho looks like her can be very distracting." Listen Royce, this is serious. . More

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