Herman had not exactly been poor, and on his death, Pauline had inherited nearly a quarter of a million pounds, about half in cash and the rest in sec...rities and investments, which provided her with a regular quarterly injection of funds. She insisted in sharing her wealth – she said it was because Lindy and I, mainly me, had taken her in and looked after her and her children after Herman died.We found a former Care Home with 18 en-suite bedrooms, large living room and kitchen, situated on the. I wish for a different outcome. Crazy thoughts shoot through my head, bouncing off memories of you. What if I’d called sooner? I should have sent more little positive messages. I should have just asked permission to visit. If I had, you’d still be here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t. More

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