Your son is humiliating the family name! He's grovelling like some pathetic turd at his girlfriend's toes! Make... him... STOP!" David! STOP that this...instant, young man! DAVID! You WILL listen to your mother! Now STOP that! David!" Hmmm... I guess we could call that... ineffectual? And even that's being too kind, Ms Moreno. What kind of mother can't even get her own son -- oh! that tickles, David! -- to stop making a spectacle of himself? To be truthful, I think we're going to have to say that. By now he had struck out with all of the locally available womenand none would even consider going out with him.Eager to please I said, "OK, how can I help you? I don't know any women soI'm afraid it doesn't look good." Well yes, I realize that," he said, "but I had this great idea. Now don'tfreak out when I say this but I want you to be my date." Date," I scoffed. "You're joking right?" Look I know it's a big favor but I've noticed that you have the rightstature and features to make a. More

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